The Proper Nomenclature

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December 10, 2009 by skwishface

me: hag! quick! I have a question!

gay friend: yes

me: are we near-middle-aged mother-type women allowed to own and embrace the term “M I L F”? Cuz I think I look pretty damn milfy today

gay friend: Hell to the no

me: drat. 
I’m too young and too married to be a cougar, though!
so what the heck am I?

gay friend: Just fabulous

me: Don’t I need, like, glittery fake nails for that?

gay friend: don’t you have those?

me: nope. also, no rhinestone false eyelashes.
……. 
I’m starting to think maybe my idea of “fabulous” is actually more like “Rupaul Fabulous” or even “Madonna Fabulous”
which may, technically, be “fabuLICIOUS”

friend: You’re so gay.

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