Happy Holidays: Hot Buttered Rum (or cider, for sissies)

2

December 21, 2009 by skwishface

Sometimes we do things that we’re not proud of. I must confess, the holiday spirit is a bad influence. If it were not the holidays, if I wasn’t half-crazed with twinkling lights and sugar cookies and shiny ribbons, if there weren’t streamers of jingle bells decking the HALLS of my SOUL, I would never …. ever … have come up with this recipe.

Not ever.

And yet here we are. Alcohol. And butter. Butter that you’ll be drinking. I have no regrets!

Hot Buttered Rum (or Cider, if you must)
1.5 cups of real butter (aka – 3 sticks)
2 cups of light brown sugar (packed)
1-2 tbsps cinnamon
1-2 tsps nutmeg
1-2 tsps vanilla extract
1 shot of rum/6+ oz hot water (for boozies)
6+ oz of hot apple cider (for sissies … and kids)

(for a printable version of this recipe, go here)

Did I mention there's butter?

The measurements on the spices and the vanilla are estimates because, well, everyone’s taste buds are different. I always over-do it with vanilla, rarely bothering to measure and just giddily pouring the stuff in for as long as I feel like. And cinnamon? I just sprinkle till I like the color. It’s all up to you, how much you use. I tend to enjoy flavors that kick me in the mouth, so I go overboard. If your palette is more subtle and refined (ie – it hasn’t been bombarded with jalapenos and high fructose corn syrup for years), then maybe you could try using a smidge less than I do.

Moving on! Wait for the butter to soften (which I am never patient enough to do) and add the brown sugar.

Butter still cold in the middle = impending barrage of profanity from me

Then you put the beaters to it and cream the butter and sugar together. I’m an impatient beast, and didn’t let my butter soften all the way. It clumped together inside the beaters of my hand mixer and just defiantly sat there, daring me to make it do my bidding. A few seconds in the microwave fixed its little red wagon, let me tell you! But not before I indulged in some under-the-breath cussin’ and brief petty hatred. Cooking is often cathartic, for me.

Anyway, you’re smarter and far more patient than I, so probably yours will turn out like this on the first try:

Mmm, creamy buttery sugary goodness. Resist the urge to devour.

Add your spices and the vanilla. Inhale the heady aroma. Close your eyes as you do so, and I swear this smells enough like the holidays to make you believe in Santa all over again.

Not terribly pretty, though. This is why you close your eyes.

At this point, you could add flour and an egg, and have cookie dough. But I have much more nefarious purposes in mind. So just scoop the mixture into a container and pop it in the fridge for at least an hour to firm up.

It's okay to sneak a little taste-test at this point. I'm not here to judge you.

A little birdie told me that this is also heavenly when spread on toast. Anyway, once it’s chilled, scoop out a spoonful (or two) into your favorite mug. Add a shot (or two) of rum.

I'm a booze lightweight, and a butter heavyweight, so my proportions are a bit skewed.

Then pour in enough boiling-hot water to fill the mug. Stir until the buttery mixture is all melted.

Oh ... oh my ... I ..... I need a moment.

What you have now is a rich, spice-infused, hot, sweet cocktail. This will warm you up from head to toe and all the way down to your soul. I believe the rum is the key soul-warming ingredient, here.

If you’ve got kiddos, or folks like The Husband who are allergic to alcohol, then you can always omit the rum and water, and just use hot apple cider.

This tastes exactly like drinking an apple pie.

OR … you could mix the rum AND the cider. Do whatever makes you happy! There’s 3 whole sticks of butter in this recipe – we’re not about to start imposing limitations now.

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2 thoughts on “Happy Holidays: Hot Buttered Rum (or cider, for sissies)

  1. Becky says:

    This looks delicious! I am enjoying your blog so far- just discovered it. Thanks!

  2. […] In Food/Recipes on January 4, 2010 at 12:28 pm It’s the New Year, and I have much to atone for. […]

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