The Art Of Toddler Compromise

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January 22, 2010 by skwishface

I am almost three years old. This morning, I am also grumpy.

Very grumpy.

To soothe my grumps, I require the presence of BOTH my favorite plush kitty AND my blanket. Mother! Upon this point, I shall not waver. Na-Naow and Bitten shall accompany me to school this day!

Your mouth, it makes these noises. They seem to suggest leaving my beloved friends behind at home whilst I, in my grumpiness, attend school. I will simply stare at you until you reconsider.

That’s right. Look away from my unblinking gaze. Look, instead, at the clock with mercilessly ticks away the time. Running late for work, are we? That’s unfortunate. Why waste time on further discussion when you can simply let me have my way?

What’s this madness?! You suggest that I leave one trusted comrade behind and go flouncing off into the sunrise with the other?? How can you expect me to make such a devil’s choice? As soon ask me to choose between having an arm cut off or a leg! NAY, madam, I WILL NOT CHOOSE!

I trust that my defiant abandonment of both items and dramatic stomping towards the car will have the desired impact. Open-mouthed wailing is a specialty of mine, you know.

Ah, drat. I appear to be strapped into my car seat. You’ve gone and called my bluff, you clever wench.

Very well! Let us revisit this compromise you have offered. If I will ask you very nicely, will you retrieve my beloved Blanket from the house?

You will?! Oh most excellent and happy day! Thank you, Mother! Bliss is mine!

… Any chance of getting the kitty, too? …. Nonono, you’re right, let’s just be happy with what we’ve achieved, eh?

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