Probably should’ve opened with “hello”


March 12, 2010 by skwishface

ME: so I had a dream the other night

ME: that the zombie apocalypse had come

ME: and my family and I were trying to gain entry to the only safe human compound on the region

ME: others had already gotten in

ME: DrunkAndAngry, for being a berserker zombie killer

ME: DrunkAndAngry’s Wife, for keeping a leash on him

ME: so the council in charge of the compound wanted to let me in, because I can cook and weave clothing

ME: which are oft-underestimated skills in the post-apocalyptic world

ME: but they didn’t want The Husband or The Kids

ME: because kids are useless mouths to feed, and they already had met their quota of big strong guys

ME: but I refused to join the compound unless they took all of us

ME: It was very tense.

ME: If they didn’t accept us, we would have to fend for ourselves in the wilds of Central Texas, with all the killer hippie zombies.

ME: I woke up before the council made their decision.

ME: I hope we make it!

FRIEND: ……..

FRIEND: Are you high, Clarie?


2 thoughts on “Probably should’ve opened with “hello”

  1. Sara says:

    Steel Magnolias. Good one.

  2. […] and preserved my own fresh-made strawberry jam. Folks will be fightin’ over me, come the zombie apocalypse. About $5 worth of ingredients, jars and jars and jars of ruby red deliciousness. RUBY red. Not […]

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