I’m A Big Cheater: cookies from a box of cake mix

Leave a comment

September 30, 2012 by skwishface

So my kids had a playdate. That word kinda makes me squirm, “playdate”. Like maybe my kids are soooooo busy that their socialization time must be scheduled weeks ahead by a prim and professionally anal-retentive bun-haired individual in sensible low-heeled pumps. There would be structured learning-play with sanitized ergonomic growth-developing toys in friendly non-offensive colors. The Boy would wear pressed khaki shorts and a collared shirt, The Girl something breezy and possibly involving a pinafore. Snacks would be nutritious and bland and unlikely to stain clothing and provided at reasonable intervals.

The reality is that I’ve got some old friends who live clear on the other side of town, and we’re all busy, disorganized people, so we tossed some messages around Facebook till we found a day that we were all free to get together and drink beer while our barefoot children wore each other out pretending to hunt zombies in the weeds of their fantastically overgrown back yard.

Snacks, though. That totally did happen. I volunteered to make cookies for the kiddos, because that’s kind of my thing, and I shamelessly cheated. It was a busy weekend, yo. And hey, cookies are nutritional. There’s an egg in there. That’s, like, protein an’ stuff.

Cake Box Cookies
1 box cake mix
1 egg
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup oil

Grab a box of cake mix. Disregard the instructions on said box. Because you’re a rebel and you’ll never ever be any good.

Funfetti, being both fun and fetti, is the obvious choice for playdates.

Toss it all in a mixer. Get your three-year-old to help you, so you’re not the only one making gleeful yuck-faces at the oily eggy goop.

Eeeeeeeeeeeew.

Turn the  mixer on till it’s cookie dough. Seriously. Cake mix will turn into cookie dough. Look, the stuff in that box doesn’t know it’s supposed to be cake. It’s ignorance is your gain.

Ta-da! Ignorant dough!

Scoop out your dough into coupla-tablespoon-ish lumps on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Or, if you’re like me, you forgot you ran out of parchment paper and you end up improvising by rubbing butter on some foil.

Most of life’s obstacles can be overcome by rubbing butter on them.

And if your three-year-old is anything like mine, this deviation from normal baking routine will be met with an excited barrage of “Mommy! What are you doing?” chirped from a perch on the counter nearby. Explaining what you’re doing will not stop the questions. Three-year-olds have question quotas to meet each day, ya know. True story.

If you don’t have a three-year-old, you can skip that step. The interrogation, that is. Not the scooping of dough onto a cookie sheet. Don’t skip that step. Unless you just want to eat your cookie dough, in which case grab a spoon and disregard the rest of this post.

10-11 minutes in a 350-degree oven will get you these:

Fun! And also fetti!

Fluffy and yet chewy. Surprisingly perfect cookie texture. WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?

Now, these playdate cookies were quick and easy and intended to be devoured by short, illiterate people who don’t care what cookies look like so long as they’re cookies. If you want to get fancy, I recommend red velvet cake mix. Roll each scoop of dough in powdered sugar before baking and semi-elegant loveliness happens. See?

Focus on the ones on the bottom. The ones on the top are chocolate chip and did not involve a box of cake mix. They are impostors intent on deceiving you. Delicious, delicious impostors.

Quick, yummy, and dangerously easy. Feel free to be a cookie cheater with me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Archives!

Pigeonholes

%d bloggers like this: