“Can they do that?”

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February 23, 2009 by OSW

Yesterday I attended a wedding shower. It was great fun, graciously hosted, attended by friends and family full of warmth and joy for the soon-to-be-wedded couple. The location was beautiful (host’s amazing house), the food was a phenomenal spread of mostly vegetarian gourmet goodies that were 99% homemade by the host himself. Wine flowed freely, as did the (homemade) sparkling raspberry lemonade for those of us too pregnant for the wine. We ate, we laughed, we ooh’ed and aah’ed over presents, and generally had a fan-flippin’-tastic time celebrating the upcoming union of two people.

Two people who happen to both be women.

Invariably, the first reaction I get when I mention to folks that my lesbian friends are getting married is some variation of “Can they do that?”. “Is that even legal?”. Or my favorite, “Is that allowed?”. Yes, they can do that. No, it’s not a legal marriage. And for pete’s sake NO, we are not anticipating that the wedding will be broken up midway through by armed morality police. Nor will anyone be struck by lightning. Two people who have been lovingly devoted to each other for nine (NINE!) years are finally taking the plunge and committing to a lifetime of the same. It is an occasion for joy and celebration, not just of the wedding itself and their love for each other, but also for their combined strength of spirit in this endeavor.

These ladies are not aggressively spitting in the faces of the established order. They’re not defiantly chest-pounding or marching in the streets. No online campaigns or petitions have been started, no appearances on the local news demanding privacy while simultaneously pleading for attention. This wedding is simply the next logical, natural step for two people to, spiritually and with the support and blessing of friends and family, promise to love and care for one another for the rest of their lives.

Can they do that? Of course they can.